Blog Entries
November 4th Tags: 15th entry

November 4th.

                Hey Mr. Journal!  How’s life?  Mine is fucking phenomenal!  OMG!  I almost totally, like, fucking died today!  LOLZ!  That’s super l33t!

                Sigh.  Sarcasm font off.

                Vigilance, and attention to detail.  I used to preach that shit at work all the time, my whole frigging like.  Attention to detail.  Attention to detail.  Vigilance.  I cannot cut corners anytime I am out of Hall E anymore.  I am so furious at myself right now I can barely type.

                 In fact, fuck this.  I have to calm down.



November 4th.  (2ndentry)

                Much better now. 

                Let me dial this back a little bit and rehash why I was so pissed off and all ‘roid ragey earlier at myself.  I went to the campus cafeteria this afternoon to get some canned food to move it here to Hall E.  I was running low on a few different things, was jonesing for a bit of variety, and I haven’t yet moved all the supplies into here so it was a pretty standard food run.  We’re talking maybe a hundred yards from door to door.

                I’ve checked campus twice a day for weeks now I think making sure nothing is here.  I mean shit, why would anything be here anyway?  I make little to no noise, I stay inside as much as possible, I give those motherfuckers no reason at all to come up here.  Apparently I need to re-think my whole vision of how and why these things move about.  Because one of them made his way onto campus, and all the way into the frigging cafeteria.

                So I always do my errands during daylight hours.  As you may have gleaned from my prior diary entries here Mr. Journal, I do not operate at night.  Clever guy that I am, I use the campus maintenance four wheeler to get around when I need to move a lot of things.  It has a little trailer that can be hooked up to it which makes moving heavy things, or lots of little things a lot faster and safer.  Plus if shit hits the fan I can peace-out like a girl scout and regroup somewhere safer. 

                 I keep the four wheeler about 10 paces from the door of Hall E for convenience.   Hopped in, fired it up, and motored over to the cafeteria at a leisurely pace.  Now when I do my little patrols I always bring the Sig, one of the swords, and the bow.  I use them in the exact opposite order listed should something happen.  As I said, I believe noise is really bad, and draws them in.  The bow and sword are both silent, so it suits me and my plan.

                 Today was no different.  I rolled over to the cafeteria, parked at the kitchen door, which is on the side, as opposed to the main entrance the kids would’ve used during school hours.  Us staff never used the main doors at night, as we primarily would be going there to raid the fridges to feed ourselves.  SOP as they say.

                  Hopped off the quad, grabbed my banana box out of the trailer, unlocked the kitchen door, and let moved in like any other day.  Now right inside the kitchen door you entered a short hall and were the walk in cooler, and walk in freezer.  Opposite those two doors in the hall was the area we used to call “they honey hole.”  Where they kept staff only food.  All the good shit basically.  It meant all the food I needed was within 15 feet of the back door.  Now the electricity has long since been off in this building, and that means the cooler and freezer are offline.  Now if you’ve ever had your electricity go off for any time, you probably know that frequently the fridge can get pretty warm all on its own.  Especially after any food inside it begins rotting.   The freezer stayed cold for quite some time, which was awesome, but the cooler was basically a total loss within a week.  Fresh veggies didn’t keep, rotted, warmed the cooler, lather rinse repeat.

                  I walked into honey hole and started my shopping spree.  I filled up the banana box, and brought it outside.  Transferred everything into the trailer and brought it inside again.  By the way, if you’re curious, yes, it’s THAT banana box.  Same one, still kicking like kung fu.  I’m telling you if you’re not on the banana box team, get on it now.

                 So I went back inside for a second food run, and filled the box again.  As is normal I continued humming the Linkin Park song I had stuck in my head, and casually turned to bring load two out.  When I turned, I bumped into the goddamn zombie. 

                 Okay have you ever, truly been scared?  I don’t mean like when you watch a freaky movie that makes you not want the lights off at night, I mean like when someone catches you off guard, and your heart leaps into your throat?  You get that immediate single POUND of the heart, and the sudden surge of adrenaline?  Usually about one second later whoever scared you is laughing because of the look on your face, and then you either smack the shit out of them for scaring you, or you’re laughing with them… You know what I’m talking about, right?

                This was like that.  Sans the laughter.  I nearly had a heart attack on the spot, and immediately went on the defensive.  I was already in the corner of the pantry so I had nowhere to go, and this thing was already pressing against the banana box which weighed a solid 50 pounds by that time.  (It was filled with cans.)  Only way to get rid of it was to drop it, which would put it right on my foot, or shove it at the zombie.

                 Of course the zombie was so close he had the initiative.  Now they aren’t fast, but they can lunge like a fucking pro when they have you like that.  This guy was on me like white on rice.  He sort of came down with both hands and knocked the box free right onto my feet.  Fortunately it landed on my feet and not my toes.  It hurt like a bitch, but as well all know, toe pain is the worst.  Foot pain is much more tolerable.

                Now the box falling on my feet sent me backwards and I hit the wall pretty hard.  The frigging zombie kinda fell onto me, and bit me pretty good.

                Yeah I know.  I said the B word.  Curtains for Adrian, right?  No way, no how Mr. Journal.  Adrian gets lucky again.  The zombie sunk every last tooth into the collar of the fleece jacket I had on.    The fucker’s weight on me though took me all the way to the ground.  Cornered, on the floor, with a zombie on top of me, biting the fuck out of my collar.

                God hell he smelt to high heaven.  I flat out do not know how I didn’t smell him coming.  Maybe I was used to the smell of the wretched freezer in the kitchen and just tuned it out?  I don’t know.  Anny way I look at it way I’m a fucking idiot.

                 Soooo..  panic time.  I’ve got a few years of Jiu-Jitsu and Karate under my belt, so I am fairly good in a scrap.  Not a ninja mind you, but I could give a ninja a fucking hell of a bloody nose if one tangled with me.  I think I gave the zombie a sweeping elbow right to the jaw and dislodged him from my coat.  He didn’t fly off me, but it got his mouth off me, and shifted his weight enough so I could slide my hips sideways, and get a leg under his body.  I kicked out and up, and tossed him like a fucking ragdoll about six feet.

                I used the wall and scrambled to my feet while the dead guy got back up.  I didn’t want to waste a bullet so I yanked the sword out, and sunk it into his rotting melon head with an overhead swipe.  His head came apart like an eggshell filled with rotting cauliflower.  Goddamn horrid.  If I couldn’t smell him before that, I sure as shit could then.  It was horrible.  I almost puked but choked it down. 

                After a few dry heaves I checked the whole building and cleared it.  Empty.  All the doors were shut too, which mean this guy had been here all along and I missed him when I cleared it months ago, or he had the mental ability to PULL OPEN A DOOR!  Fuck me.  I’ve never seen one that smart.  Usually when presented with a door that doesn’t push open, they just press against it until something gets their attention elsewhere.

                This changes things.  I’m really hoping that it was scenario A, and I’m just an idiot that made a mistake.  Because if it’s scenario B, then I need to really rethink where dangerous places are.  I haven’t locked any of the campus buildings that have doors that pull out, or have knobs, or latches.  They haven’t figured any of that out any time I’ve been observing them.

                Fucking-A man. 

                Tomorrow, I am going to every building here on campus, and locking the doors.  That really irks the shit out of me too.  I don’t want to have to fumble with keys if I’m in a situation.  I’ve seen it so many times it’s a goddamn cliché.  Right up there with cars not starting when the killer is chasing you, and that the pretty girl ALWAYS falls when being chased.  Fumbling with keys.  Awesome.  Can’t wait for that to happen.  Mark my words Mr. Journal, it WILL happen.  I know my luck.

               Okay Mr. Journal, moral of this story is attention to detail, and vigilance.  Until all the buildings are fully locked, I clear every single one of them as if I was expecting a zombie to be inside.  Further, any time I am moving anywhere outside of Hall E, I will increase my vigilance, and stop humming. 

               Furthermore, every room must pass the sniff test.

               In other good news, the zombie had $350 in his wallet.  That’ll come in handy.





Are you enjoying AUD?  Would you like to try something a little bit different that Chris wrote?  Take a second and visit the story of Tesser.  An urban fantasy written by Chris Philbrook.



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