Blog Entries
October 21st, 2011 Tags: 208th entry

October 21st.

                Normally I’m not a really superstitious kind of person, but right now, I’m freaking the heck out.  Not cool at all man, not cool at all.

                Dad, I just had the strangest dream.  I know Adrian had lots of dreams, and I know Gavin had a dream that made him think that Adrian was the most important person ever, so I’m like, super super sensitive about what I dream about.  Like, to the point of me writing down all my dreams when I wake up and things are weird in said dream.

                Tonight, I woke up, and I wrote some stuff down.  And that is just NEVER good dad.  Never.  It’s like being late for your period.  Well, I can’t actually say that, because I was never late for my period.  I kept my legs shut for the vast majority of my life.  Well, the part of it where I could theoretically be sexually active.       

                Relieved?  Yep, you should be.  I could’ve been the high school whore here at Auburn Lake Prep, but nope, I was the good daughter, eschewing boys for books and nerdy pursuits like trolling anime forums, and cosplay picture galleries.

                Yep, nerd and proud of it.

                Now I can’t fully say that I didn’t get my good share dad, that’d be a real lie, and with you being dead and all, I feel like being fully open and honest about things is really important.  Full disclosure.  So yeah, I am not a virgin, and I’ve done well for myself, but I am not a skank. I have morals and stuff.

                Not many, and I rarely use the morals lately, but I have them.  Thanks for being a good parent.

                So I had this really messed up dream last night.  It was messed up for two huge reasons.

                Reason #1:  I usually only barely remember my dreams.  Even when I wake up, and they’re still pretty like, fresh in my head, I often have to like, recollect them to really remember them.  This dream was vivid, like something that had JUST happened a few minutes ago in the real world. 

                Reason #2:  I dreamt of the dead.  And they had things to say.

                I took pretty good notes before I fired up the laptop here so I should be able to make some solid sense of this.  Hopefully it all translates.  I am so tired.

                In the dream I was sitting in our house back in Westfield, upstairs in my room.  I was like, on my bed with the television on and running, and I think there was just an endless stream of commercials running or something forgettable.  So I’m sitting there, zoning out, reading some comic or magazine, or maybe a school textbook, and I look up for no reason I can remember, and standing in the doorway of my bedroom is Gavin, my boyfriend.

                Well, ex-boyfriend really.  He’s dead.  Once I saw him leaning up against the doorway, all tall, and awkward and handsome and yummy, I just knew something was up.  I knew this wasn’t just a regular dream.  I haven’t dreamt of Gavin once, and I knew from Adrian and everyone else’s dreams (including my own) that we just don’t dream about the living.  The only people who show up in our dreams now, are dead folks.

                So I was sitting cross legged on my bed, and he walks in slowly and looks around, taking it all in.  He’d never been to my room at the house before, so it was his first visit.  It makes sense now that he took the time to check it out before he started talking.  I waited until he was ready, just looking at him, knowing it was a dream, and he wasn’t really there.  It sucked.

                Gavin turns to me, and says, “hey baby.  Sorry I couldn’t come around before this.  Things have been kind of hectic here.  Doing what we can to make things better for everyone.”

                I just nodded, I was still pretty much in awe that he was in my dream.

                “It is so hard to talk to people that are still around.  Adrian is so much easier for us, and it takes us weeks to build up the ability to talk to him, and even then it doesn’t always work.  It is taking a bunch of us working together for me to talk to you right now, and I don’t have long.”

                “Okay.  I miss you.  I love you.”  I said.  Priorities, right dad?

                He smiled in that silly way where his little dimples pop up, and he got all rosy.  So adorable.  “I miss you too.  I love you so much.  Did Adrian tell you to move on yet?  I mean it.  You have a lot of time left I think, and if you find someone, go for it.  There’s no guarantee we’ll see each other again, and even if we do, I understand.  I want you to be happy.”

                I started crying, and I blabbed on about how I could never, and how he didn’t understand, and he just shot me down in the sweetest way.  I don’t remember exactly what he said, and my notes are all messy from the crying I did, but he basically told me to be happy, and that made him happy.  Jury’s still out.  Showing up in my dreams doesn’t make me want to move on at all.

                Then he gets all serious on me.  “Adrian is hurt, and so is Blake.  They are stuck.  It’s like they are ghosts.  They wander in between our world, and yours, and we are working to help them get back.  We’re still trying to figure it out.”

                “They’re both in comas.”  I said.

                “That makes sense.  Gilbert is working on it.  We’re not sure what’s up, but there’s something different between the two of them.  It’s almost like they’re stuck for different reasons.  I think we can fix one on our end, but the other might need to be fixed on your end.  We’re hoping to fix one or the other within a few days.”

                “What can we do?  How can we help?”  I asked him.

                “That’s why I’m here.  Gilbert said you guys need to get them in the best health you can, as fast as you can.  Anything that makes them worse, sends them a little further to our side, and we really can’t afford to have Adrian die.  He’s the Scrbe you know.  One of the Trinity.”

                I nodded.  I knew enough about that to not need a full explanation.  Right about then Gavin sat down on the edge of my bed, and rested his cool hand on top of my knee.  God it felt so good to feel that familiar touch again dad.  I know it probably creeps you out to hear about a boy touching me, but it felt so good.  Comfortable.  I’ve missed him so much.

                “You guys need to be very careful.  Evil has been plotting this moment for a very fucking long time, and shooting Adrian wasn’t the killing blow.  Expect something terrible to happen soon.  Like, very soon.  Be on guard.  Gilbert is sure there’s a storm coming.”  He squeezed my hand again, and stood up from the bed.  I wanted him to kiss me so bad, just one last time, but I knew he wouldn’t.  I just knew it.

                “Remember, I’ll always love you.  But be happy.  If you can fall in love again do it.  Do it in a heartbeat.  I will never forgive you if you don’t take that opportunity.  Be safe, send everyone my love.”

                And I woke up.

                Now, I am sad, and paranoid.  I need to sleep.  I need to rest.  I don’t know how Adrian dealt with all these messed up dreams.  They sit in your head like a fricking cancer. 

                Oh wait.  I know how he dealt with it.  Sleeping pills.  I’m gonna sneak into Mal’s room and grab the bottle I know Adrian has in his bed stand.  Tomorrow, I will tell the others about this dream, and see how crazy they think I am.

                Well, they already know I’m crazy, I guess we’ll find out how much crazier they think I’ve gotten.








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